I received a question about dating recently in an “Ask Anything” session with my teenagers at church.  In this podcast, I review the set of questions I gave the group to ask themselves before getting into a relationship (which, by the way, should not be until late in their teenage years at the earliest).

Whether you’re a teen or an adult, if you’re considering entering a dating relationship, you should be able to give thoughtful answers to these questions.  For an in depth analysis of each question, listen to the podcast, where I’m joined by my favorite guest ever, my teenage daughter Brooklyn Holland!

  • What is your purpose in dating?
    • Is it boredom
    • Is it to validate your worth
    • Is it status
    • Are you ready to progress towards a permanent relationship with a potential spouse?

Minimum set of questions you should know about them before starting a relationship

  • Are they honest?
  • How do they treat people from whom they have nothing to gain?
  • How do they treat their parents?
  • What do their friends really think of them?
  • What do your friends really think of them?
  • Is there evidence that they are pursuing a relationship with Jesus?
  • Do they have a work ethic?
  • Can I actually see myself ending up with this person for the rest of my life?

Minimum set of questions you should know about yourself before starting a relationship

  • Where is my security?
  • What are my goals in life
  • What are the things I really value in life?
  • How do I treat people i have nothing to gain from?
  • What level of ownership am I comfortable with someone having of me?
  • How far away am I from actually getting married?
  • How am I at self control
  • Who do I have in my life that is free to speak truth?

These questions are heavy and hard.  But unless you want your dating relationships to be practice sessions for divorce, you need to be able to answer them!

Share this list and podcast with your kids.  Talk about the questions and answers.  Share them with others who need to hear, whether they are teens or adults!