When award winning author & speaker Meg S. Miller discovered her husbands internet pornography addiction, her soul was crushed with waves of betrayal and anger.  But as she sought healing, she discovered that she was guilty of sin that had wounded his heart just as deeply.  As my guest on today’s podcast explains, this journey of discovery first brought her face to face with the Lord, and then spurred the healing of her marriage in a way she would have never imagined.  Get ready to be challenged as we discuss the path that led Meg to write Benefit of the Debt: How My Husband’s Porn Problem Saved Our Marriage https://amzn.to/2Cocxbg.

I’ve honestly struggled to put together show highlights.  There are at least 50 powerful quotes I want to share.

“Society, women are understandably angry. Men have messed up, men have messed up so much, and women are so angry. But at least men don’t have … At least men know it. My fear is that women don’t realize what damage we’ve done as well.”

Meg S Miller

Full transcript of the interview can be found here

Show Highlights

  • The cancerous effects of pornography in our home and culutre
  • Meg discovers her husband’s pornography habit
  • The reality that today someone is discovering and someone is confessing their habit
  • The contrast between husbands feeling relief at being discovered and wives feeling betrayed at the discovery
  • Meg wrestles with anger even while her husband walks a model path of repentance
  • How women miss healing when they join recovery groups that only focus on their husband’s issues
  • The “Big Four Sins” of Pornography, Lust, Pride, and Anger seem to primarily affect men.  What’s the equivalent for women?
  • Meg’s “aha” moment in understanding how she had equally wounded her husband
  • The root of bitterness, how roots can be unseen and touch many unintentional areas
  • God showing Meg a picture of her husband’s broken heart
  • Understanding that Meg was not the cause or excuse for her husband’s addiction
  • Learning how Meg’s debt to the Lord was so great, it freed her to love her husband regardless of his debt to her

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If there are any men listening, the best gift that you can give your wife is the confession and eagerness to repent. Even if it's the third time, even if it's the 100th time, that's the best thing you can do for the relationship. Share on X

He healed, he got into a men's support group and he even started helping other men. It was disgusting to me. I couldn't believe it, and I was jealous of his healing. I wanted to struggle with something fun and then be healed of it. Share on X

So no, we didn't just heal. A year later, I was still hurting and still begging God. I was getting angry with God that he wouldn't answer me ... That he would heal my husband and turn my husband into a certain like Captain America of… Share on X

But the world is, and the church, is neglecting to tell me, 'You have the capacity for the same damage, you have the capacity for the same hurt, you have the capacity for sinning just as much.' Share on X

'For your own reputation, for your own glory, for your own name, do something, you've got to do something.' I stopped asking God for my husband's behavior change and started saying, 'Okay, change me. You've got to make me less hurt by… Share on X

People and Resources Mentioned

Meg S. Miller’s homepage https://www.benefitofthedebt.com

Benefit of the Debt Readers Community https://community.benefitofthedebt.com

Benefit of the Debt: How My Husband’s Porn Problem Saved Our Marriage by Meg S. Miller: https://amzn.to/2pYVy8b

The Impact of Porn: By the Numbers http://www.aggiecatholicblog.org/2014/05/the-impact-of-porn-by-the-numbers/


The parable of the two debtors – Luke 7:36-50

The parable of the prodigal son – Luke 15

Timothy Keller

The Prodigal God