For the past several months, I’ve been wrestling through a concept that I know is incredibly important, but I’ve struggled with how I might teach it to my children (and a lot of your children). How can I teach them to grow in Grit?
Grit, as defined by Angela Duckworth PhD. and author of the book by the same name, is “passion and perseverance in pursuing a future goal over a very long period of time”. Through years of research into trying to discover why some people fail and some people succeed, Duckworth found out that Grit was often the key ingredient. Duckworth was a good example herself. Not known as an exceptionally intelligent child, she exhibited rugged determination with her studies to the point where she won a MaCarthur Fellowship-otherwise known as “the genius scholarship” as an adult.
I’m not going to overwhelm you with the details of her book, which I highly recommend. But I do want to point out one eye popping revelation I learned, give you some Biblical foundation for the subject, and then tie that in to what it should mean to you as a parent.
What stood out most to me from the Grit was Duckworth’s “Formula for Success”. Simply put:
Talent X Effort = Skill
Skill X Effort = Achievement
What this means: Natural talent truly is a thing. And we tend to be fascinated by it as a society. In every area you can imagine, some are born with a more natural aptitude for “getting it”. You see it in athletes, academics, and artists. You have no control over your inborn talent.
Effort, on the other hand, is entirely in your control. And Effort isn’t just twice as important as Talent, it’s exponentially more important!
Take, for example, a person who has a natural talent of 5 but gives an effort of 2. 5X2 = 10, then 10X2=20. Their achievement would be on the level of 20.
Another person has a natural talent of 1 but an effort of 5. 1X5=5, then 5×5=25. This was an extreme example of talent differences, but even then, the one with who put long term effort into their skill achieved more over the long run.
What does this have to do with faith and parenting?
One of the overarching storylines of the Bible is the what gritty faith does over the long haul. Abraham is a pagan idol worshipper who starts holding on to the promises of God, and becomes the father of nations. Moses is a refugee with a speech impediment who is used by God to deliver a nation and teach them the Way. Joseph is a slave and a prisoner who doesn’t let go of his faith and becomes ruler of Egypt and savior of his people. Ruth perseveres through famine and a dead husband to follow God and become the great grandmother of King David. And Jesus… “who for the joy set before him endured the cross, despising the shame,” and saved our very souls. This isn’t just a secular idea. It’s on page after page of the Holy Book.
Two Bible words speak to me of grit.
The first is “steadfast”. It has the idea of being steady, firm.
“Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.” (1 Corinthians 15:58)
We are steadfast because we will not always be like this. Jesus is coming back and will transform our mortal, sinful, dying bodies into glorious immortality. This gives us the grit to passionately abound in the work of the Lord. It’s not in vain.
The other word is “endurance”. Its the power to withstand hardship or stress.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1-2)
We endure because we have the saints before us as an example, Jesus as our goal, and the reminder that this is a marathon, not a sprint.
I started researching grit with the idea that I might figure out how to teach it to my kids. I ended up convicted that I need to grow in grit myself.
Mom, Dad, ask the Lord for grit. Ask Him for Passion and Perseverance over the length of your life. Ask Him to shape you into the kind of parent who doesn’t know what to do but keeps trying. Ask Him to help you be the example in your home. May you be the one who doesn’t let your family upbringing, your natural talents, your spiritual past, or your current family crisis keep you from passionately pursuing the vision of a faith-soaked family that God will use to change the world.
Fail. Then learn. Then try again.
You have a Bible full of overcoming saints as examples. You have the promise that one day you will be completely transformed by Jesus. You have the indwelling of His Holy Spirit. His Word. His Love. His family. You have enough.
May you grow in grit.
Note – I’m very thankful for this article by Jon Bloom for helping me see the connection between the Biblical and Secular ideas of Grit. You should read it!
