Helping Husbands With Communication and Empathy

Today, I’m talking to the guys. But ladies, I think you will be blessed by the conversation today, too. I hope you’ll join me as I talk about ways husbands can help their wives when they’re overwhelmed. I’m going to provide tools and solutions that you can implement right away, and I encourage you to share these with others. This is the next podcast in my You Ask It, I Answer It series. To view the last episode, click here.

Show Highlights

When your wife says she’s overwhelmed, listen first without jumping to a solution.
1. Men and women have been designed by God to communicate in distinctly different ways.
2. A study was done where the brains of men and women were scanned while a story with a problem was told.
  1. For the women, the empathy section of their mind remained engaged throughout the story. Women are able to work out problems by verbalizing, sharing, and receiving emotional sympathy. Able to fix it themselves, often.
  2. For the men, the “fix it” section of their mind lit up rapidly. Men are wired to provide solutions and fix things.
3. Men, stay engaged. Don’t jump to problem-solving mode.
When your wife says she’s overwhelmed, ask questions.
1. Ask your wife about the specifics of the situation.
2. Often, women are able to work out their problems by verbalizing, sharing, and receiving emotional sympathy.
When your wife says she’s overwhelmed, acknowledge the emotions of the situation.

1. You can positively impact a conversation, and encourage her, by expressing thoughts like, “I bet that is really frustrating” or “You must have been really hurt by that.”
2. Try to imagine the feelings you would have if you were walking through the situation.
3. Emotions are 100% accurate in telling us how we’re interpreting the situation. They are not 100% accurate in describing reality.
4. Acknowledging her emotions can help to diffuse them.

When your wife says she’s overwhelmed, encourage the good you see her doing.

1. Share observations like, “I know you’re overwhelmed, but I see you doing [fill in the blank] really well.”

When your wife says she’s overwhelmed, and you can’t help but think of a solution:
1. Ask your wife this question: “Would it help you for me to listen and talk this through with you, or would you like help in finding a solution?”
When your wife says she’s overwhelmed, pray with her.
1. Before you do anything, pray together.
2. Pray the peace of God on her life, that she would see where Jesus is working and moving, that God would intervene, for strength, endurance, and Jesus’s glory.
When your wife says she’s overwhelmed, memorize Scripture.
1. Specifically, Matthew 6:25-34.