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If I can think of one word to describe the culture we live in, it’s “Confused”. Gender identity might be the battle that gets the biggest headlines, but it’s not like the vast majority of males and females are killing it.
I believe that a paper understanding of our identity is key to stability, resiliency, purpose, and meaning. A misunderstanding of identity leads to confusion, anxiety, and… basically the United States in 2017.
On this week’s podcast I share a model for understanding our identity. Here’s a short overview and the visual I described in the podcast. If you want details, listen to the podcast.
The overall premise is that getting our core identity right is essential to understanding all of the other roles in our life. As parents, we have thousands of opportunity to encourage and reinforce healthy identity. A vocabulary and a model will help you.
Here are four layers of identity, in what I believe is the healthiest order:
Starting from the center and working outward:
- A person made in the image of God:
“So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27
Our deepest value, and our greatest source of identity, should be that we are a special creation, a person made in the image of God. Just like a Picasso drawing on a napkin would be priceless, we are priceless because of our Maker. Nothing we achieve tops being an image bearer of God, capable of relationship with Him.
- A child of God:
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
2 Corinthians 5:17
This is not our identity at birth, but is at rebirth. Being a child of God entails so many things. It means I’m loved, chosen, a Citizen of Heaven, Ambassador of God, a Saint, a Royal Priest, and much more.
- A Male or Female
Gender is in our very DNA. We are different by design, and it’s wonderful. We are not made to be cookie cutter stereotypes. But we can find great strength and purpose in understanding that God did make men and women different for a reason. At our church, we teach our kids, teens, and adults that
A REAL Man
Rejects Passivity
Expects Gods Greater Reward
Accepts Responsibility
Leads Courageously
For our little ones we say “You’re a man. That means that God made you strong to take care of others.”
A Real Woman:
Rejects Worldly Identity
Expects God’s Greater Reward
Acts with Strength and Wisdom
Loves Others Boldly
And in simple terms “You’re a woman. That means God made you graceful to heal others.”
We can celebrate God’s give of one another, and our interdependence upon one another.
- World, Work, Warm, Wonder
There is no doubt that our culture, our work, our family (warm) and our passions shape our identity. The problem is when people start looking at these as their CORE identity. For instance, if your CORE identity is in your job, 1) satisfaction is primarily derived from success, and 2) people become a commodity towards you achieving success. What happens when you fail, what happens when your work consumes all else? Ruin.
This is a simple construct to try to make sense of a very complicated world. Think about it. Test it, and let me know how it holds up!
